by Michell Eskeli and Margaret Hanoian

Please join us on Sunday, January 21 to talk about Crucial Conversations. Here’s a little background…

What are “Crucial Conversations”?

According to the book, these are conversations that involve:

• High stakes
• Opposing opinions
• Strong emotions

Why are Crucial Conversations important for our church now?

As we continue to search for a pastor, we need to work even harder to define what we want for our church. Some things are
relatively easy – we want a caring, dynamic pastor who will help us be a strong church. But other topics can be thorny:

• How do we feel about inclusive language in church?
• How do we feel about expansive language in church?
• How will we live into our Open and Affirming statement?
• Do we view the Bible literally or as a guide?

In my experience, these topics bring out Opposing Opinions and Strong Emotions. Also, the stakes are high — If we aren’t clear on these questions, then how will we get a pastor who matches us?
(Please note: we will not get 100% agreement on these. But we should be able to describe how most of us feel and how others feel.)

How will this book help us?

The book explains how fear and anxiety crop up and change important conversations from useful to destructive. We hope that the congregation will learn how to spot these things themselves, work
on being able to express difficult things and listen to difficult things without emotion shutting down the rational parts of our system and shifting us into thought patterns that lead away from
productive conversations.